Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
