That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
