8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Can Purell be used as lube?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
