you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
