You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
