you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
