I'm laying in your front yard are you home
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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