don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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