Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
