I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
