Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
