I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
