I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize