I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
