I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
These tits shall not be calmed
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
