kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize