dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
