Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
