a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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