Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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