I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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