after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
