carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
