I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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