We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
operation have a gay friend backfired
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
