nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
