Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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