i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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