There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
