Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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