thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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