Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
