DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
