like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
