Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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