saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
