I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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