Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
