listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
my sisters under your porch take her home
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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