id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
