how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
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I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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