Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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