Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
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you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
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I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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