I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize