1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
