Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
