dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Randomize
