Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
