Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
