yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
