I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
