He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize