How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I have aggressive nipples.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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