Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
