He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
