You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
