So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
