so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
