She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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