its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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