This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My vagina just clenched in fear
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
