it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
